Finally and mercifully it all comes down to this. After nearly seven months of leaks, lies and rhetoric, Tom Brady and Roger Goodell will meet tomorrow in New York City for a face-to-face, federal judge moderated showdown. The goal is to reach some sort of settlement. If they can’t, they’ll try again on August 19. And if they fail on the 19th then Judge Richard Berman will flex his creamy judicial muscles and either uphold the four-game suspension or wipe the slate clean — allowing Brady to triumphantly saunter out of that giant inflatable helmet on September 10 at Gillette Stadium.
Of course — based on everything that’s transpired so far — a settlement seems as likely as Bill Belichick opening his next press conference with a strip tease. During the appeal, Brady swore under oath that he had nothing to do with what he’s alleged to have done. In that case there’s no reason for him to accept even a single game. But unfortunately for Brady, and the Pats, and justice as we know it, whether or not No. 12 had anything to do with the deflated balls — or whether those balls were intentionally deflated in the first place — is irrelevant. The Ideal Gas Law is irrelevant. Imagine Brady standing on the edge of a giant waterfall and screaming: “I didn’t deflate those balls!” As Judge Berman hollers back: “I don’t care!” The truth is that the truth doesn’t matter. It’s a separate issue. Short of a settlement, Judge Berman will rule only on whether Goodell was unlawful in the way he punished Brady. Did he break the CBA? Did he violate league custom and/or past practice (also known as the “law of shop”)?
The NFLPA claims YES on both counts. They have and will continue to argue that (even if Brady did what Goodell claims) the offense is nothing but an equipment violation and punishable by nothing more than a fine. And even then, the CBA doesn’t mention anything specific regarding punishments for ball deflation, so there was no fair warning and no precedent on which Goodell can hang his gold-encrusted, power-hungry hat. In other words, he’s out of line.
Most everyone in New England — and anyone else who wasn’t force fed paint chips as a kid — agrees with this sentiment. If not down to the word, Goodell was generally as unlawful in dealing with Brady as he was with Adrian Peterson, Ray Rice and the Saints players in Bountygate, and in each of those instances the commissioner was ultimately embarrassed in court by a neutral judge. But in this case, and any court case, “down to the word” is everything. While there’s still a realistic possibility that Berman laughs in Goodell’s face and throws out the ruling, he may very well review the competing legal briefs, take a long hard look at Article 46 of the CBA, and intimate to Brady: “Listen, I respect you, I love watching you play, and if we’re being honest those dimples make me squeal — but I won’t rule in your favor. I can’t in good faith set that precedent. If you don’t settle, you’ll lose.”
In that case here are five compromises Brady might consider throwing the NFL's way:
1) I’ll sit out the full four games and Commissioner Goodell will immediately offer his resignation.
2) I’ll sit out three games and Commissioner Goodell will suspend himself six games for “repeated conduct detrimental to the league and failure to protect to the shield and inability to uphold the integrity of the game.”
3) I’ll sit out two games and Commissioner Goodell will submit to a polygraph test, broadcast live on pay per view, with all proceeds going to Best Buddies International.
4) I’ll sit out one game but will still be allowed to attend and participate in the banner raising ceremony on opening night. Commissioner Goodell will be required to attend while wearing nothing but a pink speedo and a cowboy hat.
5) I’ll reject Judge Berman's ruling and see you at the Second Circuit appeals court.
Your move, Rog.
Of course — based on everything that’s transpired so far — a settlement seems as likely as Bill Belichick opening his next press conference with a strip tease. During the appeal, Brady swore under oath that he had nothing to do with what he’s alleged to have done. In that case there’s no reason for him to accept even a single game. But unfortunately for Brady, and the Pats, and justice as we know it, whether or not No. 12 had anything to do with the deflated balls — or whether those balls were intentionally deflated in the first place — is irrelevant. The Ideal Gas Law is irrelevant. Imagine Brady standing on the edge of a giant waterfall and screaming: “I didn’t deflate those balls!” As Judge Berman hollers back: “I don’t care!” The truth is that the truth doesn’t matter. It’s a separate issue. Short of a settlement, Judge Berman will rule only on whether Goodell was unlawful in the way he punished Brady. Did he break the CBA? Did he violate league custom and/or past practice (also known as the “law of shop”)?
The NFLPA claims YES on both counts. They have and will continue to argue that (even if Brady did what Goodell claims) the offense is nothing but an equipment violation and punishable by nothing more than a fine. And even then, the CBA doesn’t mention anything specific regarding punishments for ball deflation, so there was no fair warning and no precedent on which Goodell can hang his gold-encrusted, power-hungry hat. In other words, he’s out of line.
Most everyone in New England — and anyone else who wasn’t force fed paint chips as a kid — agrees with this sentiment. If not down to the word, Goodell was generally as unlawful in dealing with Brady as he was with Adrian Peterson, Ray Rice and the Saints players in Bountygate, and in each of those instances the commissioner was ultimately embarrassed in court by a neutral judge. But in this case, and any court case, “down to the word” is everything. While there’s still a realistic possibility that Berman laughs in Goodell’s face and throws out the ruling, he may very well review the competing legal briefs, take a long hard look at Article 46 of the CBA, and intimate to Brady: “Listen, I respect you, I love watching you play, and if we’re being honest those dimples make me squeal — but I won’t rule in your favor. I can’t in good faith set that precedent. If you don’t settle, you’ll lose.”
In that case here are five compromises Brady might consider throwing the NFL's way:
1) I’ll sit out the full four games and Commissioner Goodell will immediately offer his resignation.
2) I’ll sit out three games and Commissioner Goodell will suspend himself six games for “repeated conduct detrimental to the league and failure to protect to the shield and inability to uphold the integrity of the game.”
3) I’ll sit out two games and Commissioner Goodell will submit to a polygraph test, broadcast live on pay per view, with all proceeds going to Best Buddies International.
4) I’ll sit out one game but will still be allowed to attend and participate in the banner raising ceremony on opening night. Commissioner Goodell will be required to attend while wearing nothing but a pink speedo and a cowboy hat.
5) I’ll reject Judge Berman's ruling and see you at the Second Circuit appeals court.
Your move, Rog.